After Annabelle dumped me, I got talked in to online dating to get me out of my funk. (See:Annabelle – Guy Walks Into a Bar) Instead of bitching and moaning, I decided to just embrace it, and go out and meet women. I didn’t really lead people on. A couple of times at the end of the date I looked at them and flat-out said “We’re just not right for each other.” The first time I was blown away when she let out a sigh of relief and said, “Yeah. You’re right, we’re just moving in different directions. But huge thanks for being cool about it.” A fair number of random dates, fun fooling around, and general dating fun. Because I was really in it just to meet people and not hunker down at home and get depressed, I also had some utterly bizarre dates.
I spoke to Abby a couple of times online, but decided to meet and have dinner pretty quickly. She was funny, and sounded like fun. I got to the bar first, grabbed a drink and talked to the bartender. I actually let them know what was happening. Had enough time to drink half my drink, when she walked in. Happily, she looked better than her pic. Got up, introduced ourselves, nice hug, she sat down and belted down the rest of my drink. Okay… admittedly, not the strangest thing that happened to me that week. No big deal. The bartender comes over, and I ask her if she wants another. “Sure, but make it a double, but no coke. Just rum. Well, no rum. Just whiskey.” she says.
Interesting…. In the first five minutes I learn that she’s actually interested in becoming an actress, loves dogs, and really wants to save anal for “real relationships” from here on out. Oh, and she doesn’t like to do cocaine anymore because it really leads to her making bad decisions. Cool….. I’m now looking around the restaurant for hidden cameras. Another ten minutes, and we’ve talked a little about work, the crappy commutes, coolest client stories I’ve ever had.
Suddenly she looks me dead in the eye (bartender is within arms reach), and says “I’m going to the bathroom. You want a blow job?”
Thirty minutes in to the date. I check the bartender for an ear bud or body camera. Nope. Still no sign of hidden cameras or anything, the chick is just bizarre. The bartender is shaking his head “no” at me. I’m not against some fun freaky time on the first date, but in the first 30 minutes?? I decline. I order two more drinks (signal to slow it down). She disappears, comes back, and we talk for five more minutes before she slams her drink, leans over French kisses me and says “This has been fun! I hope to see you again!”. And bounces out.
The bartender comes over, and we just start laughing. It was SO FREAKING bizarre. I grab a menu, order some dinner. As I’m finishing my dinner drink, the bartender comes over and points at the door. Abby is sneaking back in the restaurant, and heading upstairs (split level place). I take my time finishing my drink, to see if I get any more bizarre tidbits to add to the story, but nothing happens. The bartender even went upstairs to check on things, only to find her doing a rail of coke by herself.
Bizarre blind date. Anal might have happened after the cocaine, but the blow job was offered in the first 30 minutes or so.
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