Dating and Relationship Advice: 10 Sexy-Smart Things Men Do That Totally Turns Women On

I was having a drink with my friend Rebecca last Sunday, and we were talking about life, relationships, and dating. (See: Rebecca: Dark Wings of Destiny) She was really interested in the dating advice part of the blog, as many of you are, and I gave her an assignment.

What do women want?

Here’s what she came up with. So take it away Rebecca!

Men, take note:  These things are WAY hotter than being fit.

For me, the sexiest thing a man can have is a good head on his shoulders. You don’t need to woo me with rock-hard biceps or a strong core … you just need to be able to talk to me, baby.

In other words: Intelligence wins over any looks you can throw at me. I get totally weak in the knees over a man who is able to keep a great conversation with me, keep me interested, help me learn. I find a smart man to be the sexiest of all.

 

Here are ten sexy-smart things that men do that totally make us swoon, Every. Single. Time.

1.  Have a deep, passionate interest in something.

I don’t care whether this interest is even something that I share. I don’t give a hoot about cars but one of my male friends is crazy about them, and he stares at cars in the street like many men do with hot women. And I totally love it. I love that he has a deep passion and interest for something and that he rattles off car facts not to impress anyone, but because he’s genuinely interested. And it’s super sexy!

2.  Read — of your own accord!

If a man has a veracious appetite for books, it’s an immediate turn-on. It means that he wants to get lost in a good story, or learn something. He wants to feed his brain. And that kind of investment is better than any time in the gym.

3.  Use a rich (but not pretentious) vocabulary.

If a man uses the perfect word in the perfect context, I’m immediately weak in the knees. But it has to be genuine: if you’re throwing around big, pretentious words just to make people think you’re smart, we can tell — and the effect is the opposite (and it’s not sexy).

4.  Have an opinion on worldly issues.

I don’t mean that you must have a defined stance on every single war and foreign relations issue in the entire world, but knowing what’s going on beyond your city reflects a concern for and genuine interest about lives outside of your own.

5.  Know what your dreams are … and chase after them.

I once dated a guy who wanted to act. And he was incredibly talented! But he never made any real steps towards realizing it and he ended up in some humdrum job he totally hates. Have dreams, no matter how big, and go after them — that determination gets us going more than you can imagine.

6.  Talk to me for hours about any topic under the sun.

Meeting a hot guy is great but when he only knows about lifting or football and can’t keep up a conversation about pretty much anything else, I’m going to get bored real quick. Being able to talk about anything — and also, in the same vein, not being afraid to say, “I don’t know — tell me what you know about that” — is intensely attractive.

7.  Have not only book-smart intelligence, but emotional intelligence.

Intelligence is great, but you need to be able to get in touch with your emotions. You need to know that as a human, you will feel emotions that you don’t understand, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re correct — and you need to be willing to explore those emotions. A man with emotional intelligence is a man who is emotionally available.

8.  Have your shit together.

Life is confusing and tricky, but if you have the basics together: you do your taxes, you’ve got a car that functions, it shows self-reliance and maturity.

9.  Have personal taste.

Whether this is in music, wine, or something else entirely, having personal taste shows you don’t just blindly follow what other people follow. A developed palette shows interest, passion, and autonomy.

10.  Teach me something new every day — even without even meaning to.

I’m a reader and a writer. I’m hungry for more knowledge, constantly. I want you to be able to open my eyes even further, to teach me something new, just because that’s who you are.

 

If you’ve got these things under your belt, you’ve got her, hook, line, and sinker.

 

Thanks Rebecca!

 

Was this helpful? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject!

 

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Cherie – Chapter 33 – It’s All About The Journey – Part 1

“Despite the appearance of Ambria, I’m able to compartmentalize my relationships.”

The blog really is action packed this week! So strap in. It’s going to get crazy good! Thanks for reading!!!

It’s been over 3 weeks since I’ve seen Cherie. When I last saw her she rolled into town on the train around 11:30 in the morning. Normally she can get into the city at dusk on a Saturday, but that day her parents took her son and some of the cousins to something for the afternoon, so she was able to slip away for the afternoon to see me.

She’s been super busy with finals at Temple and her job at CHOP. (Children’s Hospital) It’s been a hectic time for her. She gets her Bachelor’s of Science in neuroscience and her Bachelor of Arts in Psychology soon.

Unlike all the Temple girls that come into the salon to tan, when they finish finals this week, they’ll all be off for the summer, or get a summer job. Cherie will be taking courses all summer because she wants to graduate early and get it over with.

So I asked her if after next year when she’s finished school if she’ll have more free time. Cherie said after she graduates next year, she’ll have to start medical school for like 4 years and then more medical school with a residency at the hospital.

I think this is how my life is going to be for a while. But here’s the thing… If you’ve been reading this blog for a while you’ll know my last few relationships didn’t work out. But I love having a girlfriend that adores me that isn’t around all the time.  She’s not needy, she’s not clingy, she’s also just not present most of the time.

And I love that! I mean… a little more time with her would be nice, but this is like the perfect relationship for me. A young, hot girl who knows what she wants and is going after it. She’s working hard all the while raising her son, and doesn’t want anymore kids!

It’s like the perfect girlfriend has been created for me. I like my alone time. I like my social life with all of my friends. I don’t give a shit about being showy on social media. I don’t even care about Facebook or Instagram anymore. I only post stuff on the phicklephilly Instagram and it automatically throws it to the Facebook page for phicklephilly. (Also, Twitter, Tumbler and Linkedin) Cherie doesn’t do Instagram, but has a facebook page she never goes on. I no longer care what the world is eating and drinking or doing with their kids on social media anymore. There aren’t even any photos of Cherie and me together. Because when we’re together it’s all about us. We’re sharing a meal together, or going to the movies or doing whatever, we don’t have the need to document it, and share it with the world. We’re awesome together and that belongs to us, and only us. If we shared us it would probably be too much for the world to handle.

Do I miss her? Sure I do, I miss her a lot. She’s beautiful and funny and sexy as hell. I miss worshipping at the “Temple of Cherie” with my mighty Scepter of Virility. (Lol!) She’s a great, chill girl who is so agreeable and easy-going.

I’m sure she misses me too. We normally don’t let a day go by without at least one text being exchanged. I normally don’t like a girl who needs to contact me everyday. It’s annoying. But with Cherie I’m always happy to hear from baby. If she’s missing me I just hope she isn’t hurting about it. I’m pretty sure she accepts that this is her life and this is just how it is now.

 

I like having my free time alone and look forward to our time together. When she arrived on Saturday I was at Suburban Station waiting for her like always. I’m always so happy to see her. She always takes my lead, and I’m not a big PDA (public display of affection) person, but lately when I see her I’m so glad she is before me, I hug and kiss her. (Not make out, but a hug and a peck on the cheek)

We’ve basically got from noon until 5:10, then I need to have her back on a train back to her life in Pottstown, PA.

She always tells me that when she’s with me it’s like a mini vacation from her hectic, hard-working life. We had once spoke that how nice it would be to just spend an afternoon in bed together. Just a block of time to relax and do nothing.

And everything.

When your time is this limited with a loved one, you will seize the absolute core of what satisfies you both equally.

I’m happy just sit across from baby at a diner and eat breakfast or hang at our favorite pizza or wings place. (Again, she doesn’t want anything from me, ever)

But if we are so driven together by our love that if our time is so limited to only hours, we will celebrate in an explosion of sexual desire.

As I write this she’s studying for finals that will end Monday, but she’ll go to summer school to propel herself forward in this life. I spoke with a heart doctor I know who comes to the salon and she said it is a long road ahead for Cherie.

But this afternoon is ours. A brief repose from our hectic lives. We come together. We disappear for a few hours. Wishes fulfilled. School gone. No children, studies, or following doctors around, no bills or responsibilities. No salon, people, friends, clients, alcohol or cigarettes. No trying to figure out which lawyer is best to set up the partnership agreement for my new business.

Nothing.

Just two people who have come together and love each other for different reasons, but are in firm agreeance that we accept the terms of that lifestyle because it runs like a swiss watch.

Four hours with my beloved. We grind each other to powder in a searing session that feels Olympian to this old lion. But he loves her dearly. She loves him more. All is given. Physical vessels are taken to the furthest they can withstand with great joy and rapture.

Tune in tomorrow for the conclusion!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12 pm EST.

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