Dating and Relationship Advice: Why You Should Give Up Online Dating In 2018

Online dating has turned people into numbers and it can suck the fun out of the process of dating if you let it.

Online dating has become everyone’s go-to when it comes to meeting romantic prospects. We program our entire lives via apps—from health and wellness to money management, so it’d make sense that our dating lives are also manipulated by the results generated by apps. For me, I found that a bit too contrived and problematic.

You want to meet them right away because things feel easy and there’s magic behind the comfort of your phone screen. Then once you’re sitting across from each other, you find out that there’s no magic at all.

For one, the bulk of dating apps don’t take into consideration where others are in their lives. When you put together your profile, you’re stating your intentions and your desires. “I’m looking for…” And based on what people aimlessly check off on their profile, you’re matched up. Except most people leave profiles open-ended to cast a wide net. Depending on the app or site you’re using, you’re going to have to do a lot of sifting through before you find any good candidates. In most cases, the best candidates are going to be selected based on criteria that make sense on paper. However, physically or intellectually, the matches wouldn’t be people you’d pick in real life.

Online dating isn’t always that extreme although it operates under a level of immediacy that can feel overwhelming. You want to meet them right away because things feel easy and there’s magic behind the comfort of your phone screen. Then once you’re sitting across from each other, you find out that there’s no magic at all. It’s a letdown. On the other side, you can be pleasantly surprised by someone that didn’t wow you exchanging messages. After a few dates, though, things fizzle out. You’re back to square one without as much as an explanation other than assuming that they’re just busy.

If a healthy relationship is near the top of your list for 2018, I’d suggest looking into your social circles.

The biggest reason why I think people should give up the vicious cycle of dating online is because there are better, more reliable ways to meet people. Depending on apps and social media can get exhausting. For the most part, you’re living in your head so much. There’s very little open communication because we’ve gotten used to moving on to the next thing. There are tons of options at our disposal. The risk of any type of accountability or investment is low. Online dating has turned people into numbers and it can suck the fun out of the process of dating if you let it.

If a healthy relationship is near the top of your list for 2018, I’d suggest looking into your social circles. Look at the places where you spend the bulk of your time. This year, I met a few great women through friends of mine and at church. My friends were invested in trying to fix me up (sometimes a little too invested) and knew enough about me that they picked good women for me. The people you trust likely are on your side and want to see your happy ending as much as you want to have it.

I’d also advise that you sit down and be honest with yourself about what is it that you want. Oftentimes we say we want a serious relationship when what we really want is companionship. Those two aren’t the same things. You can have one and not the other and that’s OK. But it’s important to not conflate them and to find someone who’s on the same page.

Dating is supposed to be enjoyable. Online dating apps have their place. That shouldn’t be your sole source for romantic quests though. If you’ve had more failures with it, I challenge you to get back to the basics of meeting people the way our parents and grandparents did it. Be bold and actually say hello to real, live people once in awhile.

 

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Author: phicklephilly

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2 thoughts on “Dating and Relationship Advice: Why You Should Give Up Online Dating In 2018”

  1. I’m old, married for 30+ years, never used dating sites and have been involuntarily celibate (but never an incel! and excepting faps, naturally (-:). So please ignore the following.
    Really hard to see how Web site online meeting could work well. For me, if I remember correctly, much of sexual attraction is her smell, the lilt of her voice, the laugh, the smile. It’s that round ass and the thick ankles; her hairy vulva and armpits (told you I was old!).
    She likes the Athletics like I do and is indifferent to the Giants. She eats paleo and has to watch the booze, like me.
    Almost none of these desired qualities show up online, or so I’m imagining.
    Whereas when you meet in a bar, like I met the spousal unit in 1980, all these things are evident.
    I’m thinking it would be take a long series of bad elimination dates to find someone. With your own would be lover finding just as many deal breakers in you.
    OTOH WTF do I know? I am largely an alien in my own country and culture.
    Thanks for visiting my blog. Though honestly I believe most of my ‘followers’ are bound to be disappointed because of the wildly unstructured and formless form of my blog.
    If you like my bass guitar or bike or cooking posts you might find my travel, political or humor posts boring or offensive. YMMV.
    And the only semi-erotic posts I write are in the form of haiku!
    ‘Tod’

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your words! I love your response! Everything you said was so heartfelt and real. I love a woman in her natural state too! God bless the 70’s! You both sound amazing and I’m so happy you have each other! True love that’s real. It’s what we all want! Thank you! keep reading and posting. i love what you said.

      Like

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