Dating and Relationship Advice: 4 Signs You’re Ready To Introduce Your Partner To Your Parents, According To Experts

When it comes to dating, I feel like everyone’s always searching for signs that will tell you exactly what to do next. You want horoscopes, tarot card readers, and the universe to collectively say, “Yes, they’re the one,” or, “You should say ‘I love you.'” You need to see bright, blinking signs you’re ready to introduce your partner to your parents (and vice-versa), or friends, or dog-walker before you make any major moves. Right?

There’s an episode of Friends that pokes fun at this idea. Monica and Chandler are in Vegas for their one-year anniversary and leave it to the fates to decide if they should tie the knot. Pretty much all of the signs are telling them to get married, but neither Monica nor Chandler feels comfortable or ready. (Which, of course, neither of them wants to admit. Because sitcoms.) They eventually decide to ignore the signs and go at their own pace, which — as we all know — works out for the pair.

The moral of the story is that your own comfort is the ultimate (and only) sign you really need to determine whether you’re ready to take a given step in a relationship. But when it comes to more nuanced situations, like meeting the parents (where family dynamics and others’ comfort comes into play), it doesn’t always feel that simple.

I chatted with a few dating and relationship experts to find out what some real, tangible signs are that you’re ready to take that next step and meet the fam. Here are four clues that could mean it’s time, according to the pros.

 

You’re exclusive.

“If your partner isn’t ready to be exclusive with you, and is still casually dating other people, this is a sign it’s likely too early to meet your parents,” says relationship counselor and dating coach Samantha Burns. “The last thing you want is to have your parents get attached to someone who isn’t into you.”

She’s totally right, there’s nothing stickier than your parents falling for someone who isn’t falling for you. But on the flip-side, it’s important to remember that your partner might not see things from this perspective.

“Some people are very casual about introducing you to their parents,” says Burns. “So be aware that ‘meeting the parents’ isn’t always code for a serious relationship.”

This last one’s especially true if your partner works or lives with their family. Simply put: aim to define the relationship before you introduce an SO to your parents, but know that meeting their family isn’t necessarily code for, “We’re exclusive now.”

You’ve met one another’s best friends and siblings.

Before introducing a partner to your parents, test the waters and see how they handle meeting your close friends and siblings. It’s not only an easy way to gauge how well they mesh with some of the (other) most important people in your life, you can also count on your besties and siblings for brutally honest feedback.

Sometimes, we’re a bit too blinded by infatuation in the early days of a relationship to pick up on red flags that might mean this guy or girl is definitely not the type of person to bring home to mom and dad, so getting a second opinion never hurts.

If your SO’s met and clicked with your friends and siblings, they’ll likely handle meeting your parents like a champ.

You trust each other.

“I think that the amount of time [you’ve been together] matters very little in relation to how much you trust the other person,” says licensed marriage and family therapist Nicole Richardson. “If you feel comfortable incorporating them into different aspects of your life, then it is important to do so when you are both feeling ready for it.”

Remember when I said your own comfort is the only sign you need? Richardson agrees. Regardless of how much or how little time you two have spent together, the greatest indicator that you’re ready to bring your partner home to meet your family is that you really trust that person and want to incorporate them into that side of your life.

You’ve talked over each other’s family dynamics.

“Family relationships are difficult,” says Richardson.” “It’s important to understand that although having big family dinners and positive relationships with the ‘in-laws’ is ideal, it’s not always realistic.”

Before ever considering bringing an SO home, ensure they’ve been briefed on the family dynamics at play. As someone who comes from a fairly complicated family situation myself, I can personally attest to just how important this is. Further, if they react poorly to hearing about your situation at home, I’d say that’s a pretty clear way to know they’re not ready to meet your parents.

Who needs horoscopes and psychic readings? If you and your boyfriend or girlfriend check these boxes, you’re ready to bring ’em home.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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Real Life Sugar Babies Describe What It’s Like To Have A Sugar Daddy – Part 1

You’ve heard the term “sugar daddy,” but do you know what it really means? “Sugaring” is a paid arrangement between two consenting adults – typically a younger woman and an older man – that includes an agreed upon number of hours or days spent in one another’s company. Many of these relationships begin by using a niche dating site geared specifically to hooking up sugar daddies with sugar babies. While such arrangements almost always include sexual contact, some sugar daddies also seek out the “girlfriend experience,” which can include just hanging out together, having someone to talk to, or serving as a dining and travel companion. Sugar babies set the rules and payment, and often are the recipients of free accommodation, shopping sprees, spa treatments, and much more. The money can be quite good, with lots of free time and perks included.

True sugar daddy stories are not always what one might expect, though. When sugar babies talk about their sugar daddies, it’s clear that their experiences are a mixed bag. Ideally, it’s a win-win situation for both baby and daddy, but there are many less than desirable scenarios and date horror stories from real life sugar babies.

So, what’s it like to have a sugar daddy? It’s best to let the babies speak for themselves.

It’s Just Like Any Other (Challenging) Job

From BunBunPurrPaws:

“I was one on and off for years. Like any job, it’s a mixed bag. Like any job, it gets old after a while. The big difference between it and a ‘straight’ job is that you control everything, which also means that all the risks are on you to mitigate to the best of your ability. You pick who to meet and make an arrangement with, you set your hours, you get cash to do with as you please. That might all sound great, but it can be horrible if you don’t have excellent street smarts and intuition. You HAVE to be hyper aware to do it safely. You will be alone with men who you don’t know well, who feel like you owe them something (because you do if you want to get paid. This job is 100% paid companionship INCLUDING SEX in almost all cases).

There’s also some myth that sex work is unskilled. It’s definitely not. Being a sugar baby takes a lot of natural and learned social abilities. You have to be able to play girlfriend to a wide variety of men, not to mention have some sexual abilities worth paying for. It’s actually a pretty challenging job. 90% of it is being able to talk about anything, while making him feel like the center and king of your universe for those hours every week. That’s not easy with someone who you would never probably date for free. It requires a lot of patience and intuitive people skills to do that every single week for a long time.

That being said, it came very naturally to me and I never ended up in a bad situation. I enjoyed it while I enjoyed it, then I quit. Knowing when to get out and having a plan to do so is another important factor in being a sex worker.”

The Online Girlfriend Experience

From omcthrowingaway:

“I did online arrangements similar to Sugaring in college. I exclusively offered ‘Online Girlfriend Experiences’ where a person would pay me to act like his girlfriend online, including sexing, but without my face in any photos.

While I don’t want to do it again, it was probably one of my favorite jobs. The money was fantastic and I had complete control over whoever I worked with. If they were being rude, I could end the arrangement.

Despite a hard rule of not showing my face and other safety measures, a lot of guys would open up to me, tell me about their life, and send nonsexual pictures of themselves. My average client was generally only slightly overweight, in their later 20s to early 30s, average looking, and a little socially awkward. There’s a misconception that only men who are very unattractive or old pay for these things. I had my fair share of men who were divorced, married, and/or conventionally good looking. Generally, they were either too busy or too shy to maintain a real relationship. Most men were just lonely.

Most of my clients were very kind and interested in getting to know me and my personality. As someone else stated, sex work isn’t unskilled…

Of course, you occasionally have the bad eggs. One of the creepiest men I worked with was a very good looking married man with young children. He also liked to send me nonsexual pictures of his wife behind her back at the grocery store, driving, etc. Basically, he got off on talking to me while spending time with his wife. Eventually, this creeped me out enough to end it.”

Be Careful Who You Meet

From love_lavender:

“I met men up with a few men on Sugardaddie.com. First off, stay away from this site. There are nothing but creepy, lying weirdos on there…

The second guy I had met was from San Francisco and didn’t post his pictures on his profile. We chatted a lot on the phone and texted each other frequently. He wasn’t very good looking. Shorter than me (I’m 5 foot 9 inches) and looked like Nick from that 1980’s sitcom ‘Cheers!’. He was also missing a front tooth. He told me he had just gotten divorced so he wasn’t looking for a relationship yet. He gave me a pseudonym. When I figured it out and asked about it, he gave me this long-winded, weird reason why he used it. I got an uneasy feeling, but dismissed it.

He really seemed like an ok guy. He showed interest in me, allowed me to use his address to look for a job in SF, he showed concern about my well-being too. He even offered to send me some money when I told him I was broke.

He wanted to meet up in Nashville – I canceled. He wanted to meet up in San Diego – he canceled last minute saying his mom had breast cancer. We kept in touch and he kept offering me to fly me to SF to be with him. Finally, I flew to SF on my own. We had dinner and alcohol. He came across as sort of passive-aggressive. He kept telling our waiter to tell another table to stop being so loud. He had to fly to NYC while I was there, but he kept wanting me to come over, take me to the Four Seasons, he was constantly angling for sex, but I just didn’t feel comfortable.

After I got home, he offered to rent me an apartment close to him in SF. He even CC’d me on the email to the landlord. HE bought me airline ticket to come to SF and start my new life. I ended up chickening out.

We chatted a bit after that, but he never responded to an email and text I sent to him. I took the hint. That was it.

Fast forward to a year or so later… I get back on Sugardaddie and there is his profile. He had shaved 5 years off his age and this time he had pictures. Here’s where it gets more interesting. I Googled him and found a short bio of him on his new company’s website. It said that he was married to his opera singer wife (the one he said he had divorced) and they had homes in Sonoma, CA and SF. I looked at his Instagram pictures and there they are having dinner, site seeing in Paris, kissing and hugging.

I just looked him up on that website. HE IS STILL ON THERE. His recently activity was yesterday. His wife has no clue. Who knows what would have happened if I moved to be with him. He’s definitely a liar and who knows what else.

If you want an experience, then this will give you one. Just remember, it is a REALLY BIG RISK and something bad can happen. I recommend making your own money and staying safe.”

 

More tomorrow!

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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