So I guess I should have actually put the disclaimer here instead of part one because I barely mentioned spanking and did not talk about orgasms at all, sorry and all that but here is the disclaimer….I am going to refer to spanking, orgasms and a few other bits and pieces so if that is […]
Loyalty is a trait that doesn’t get enough credit — but it really, really should. It’s not as flashy as dizzying good looks or sparkling chemistry, but loyalty is one of those important relationship traits that’s going to get you through the long haul. Naturally, there are going to be times where your relationship just isn’t as exciting and you become bored — or even tempted by someone else. “Even if you’re deeply in love with your partner, it’s perfectly normal to occasionally question your relationship,” Jonathan Bennett, Dating/Relationship Coach and Owner of The Popular Man, tells Bustle. “Everyone has doubts from time to time, whether it’s about the future of the relationship or if your partner truly is ‘The One.’ As long as the doubts aren’t lingering and constant, they’re normal and even healthy.” And when you have those doubts, loyalty is one of those things that will remind you why you love that person.
So how can you tell if someone will be loyal or not to you? It’s not always about whether they’re faithful or not — your partner can be disloyal and never have cheated on you. It’s easy to over-simplify, to think that you can tell the “bad person” in the leather jacket who obviously treats people like crap from a “good person” in a letterman’s sweater who will treat you well. But it’s just not that simple. Haven’t you seen Grease? Life is complicated.
So how can you tell if your partner will be loyal? Here are some hints that your partner isn’t loyal to you, even if they haven’t cheated, according to relationship experts.
1. They Undermine You
As Van Hochman says, loyalty and respect go hand in hand. So if they don’t have respect for you, they might not be very loyal. “There’s a common misconception that respect between romantic partners means control, meeting demands or subjugation,” life coach Jined Lamata tells Bustle. “Respect is synonymous with admiration for one another and the ability to understand that they see life differently than you. Seeing them for who they are and what their beliefs are rather than trying to mould them into what we think they should be. Respect is celebrating each other’s differences and each other’s potential for growth without imposing our own beliefs. I always say, when you choose a partner, you’re gaining a new set of eyes to see the world. Having respect in a relationship is the ability to understand that perspective!” And if you don’t have that respect, they may not be invested enough to stay loyal.
2. They Won’t Think Long-Term
If they’re not considering or talking about the future with you, they might not be all that invested in the present either. “Someone who doesn’t take you into consideration for the long-term wants to take each day as it comes rather than focus on a future with you,” Danielle Sepulveres, sex educator and author of Losing It: The Semi-Scandalous Story of an Ex-Virgin, tells Bustle. When someone views a relationship as temporary, it’s a sign they may not be loyal. Because if it’s only fleeting, the relationship may not really matter to them.
3. They’ve Cheated In The Past & Haven’t Addressed The Issue
Cheating in a prior relationship doesn’t necessarily mean they will cheat on you too — but it might. “Our past shapes us but it doesn’t define us,” couples therapist Theresa Herring, LMFT tells Bustle. “So your partner cheating in a past relationship doesn’t necessarily mean that they will cheat on you… No matter what the root cause, you want to see that they are addressing the issue so it doesn’t happen again.” If they haven’t addressed the root cause, however, they might have loyalty issues.
4. They Treat Your Relationship Like A Chore
If they seem fed up with the relationship — or the relationship seems like it’s stalling — it’s going to feel like crap. “They are not putting energy into the relationship, and you simply date when it’s convenient,” zen psychotherapist and neuromarketing strategist Michele Paiva tells Bustle. “Relationships should progress, not stay stagnant.” But more than feeling crappy, it may be a sign that they’re not going to be loyal, because they’re just not taking the relationship seriously.
5.They Flirt With Others A Lot
A little banter never hurt anyone (probably) but there’s a point where it crosses a line into disloyal flirting. “Being flirtatious with the intent to ‘feel the situation out’,” relationship coach and founder of Maze of Love, Chris Armstrong, tells Bustle. “When someone is talking to someone and throwing little hints out in order to see if there’s a chance that they can get with them; that’s disloyal — even if nothing physical actually happened.”
6. They Downplay Your Relationship
There are a lot of ways — obvious and subtle — someone can hide the fact that they’re in a relationship around someone they’re attracted to. “Taking their wedding or engagement ring off to appear single,” Armstrong says. “This is clearly disloyal since the intent is to appear as though somebody has no loyalty or commitment to anyone else.” But there are also more subtle ways of doing it that might surprise you. Not mentioning you or your relationship, implying that they’re single or looking, even introducing you to someone without mentioning that you’re their partner. It may not be cheating, but it’s not OK.
It’s not always easy to spot a partner who’s not loyal — and it may be impossible to know for sure. But if they’re not respecting you and not acknowledging the relationship, it may be time to look closer.
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My baby sister Jill, loves Rush. They once played two nights near where she went to college and she went both nights! That’s dedication. She said she stood on her chair the entire show and sang every lyric right back to Geddy Lee. Rush is to her as Aerosmith is to me.
Here’s some cool facts about this legendary band from Canada.
Rush have fans in high places. Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan is an outspoken “fanboy,” and he even interviewed the band for a radio segment. Country star Tim McGraw called himself a “big Rush fan” during an interview with Larry King. On a grander stage, hip-hop/pop/R&B mega-producer Pharrell Williams subtly rocked a ‘Test for Echo’ t-shirt during an episode of ‘The Voice.’
Neil Peart is rightly regarded as one of the greatest rock drummers in history. In addition to his famously massive kit, he also plays a seemingly endless list of auxiliary percussion instruments. On 1977’s ‘A Farewell to Kings’ alone, he is credited with “drums, orchestra bells, wind chimes, bell tree, vibraslap, triangle, tubular bells, and temple blocks”; on the following year’s ‘Hemispheres,’ he added gong, cowbells, wind chimes, crotales, and timpani.
“Alex Lifeson” has a nice ring to it – by design. The guitarist was born Aleksandar Zivojinovic to Serbian immigrant parents, but he used his surname’s English equivalent for the stage, fearing it would be too difficult for others to pronounce. Bassist Geddy Lee, the son of two Polish Holocaust survivors, changed his name from Gary Lee Weinrib. But how did her get the name “Geddy”? His mother had such a thick Yiddish accent, that when she would call his name (Gary) it always came out as “Geddy” so they boys started to refer to him as Geddy. (I love that bit!)
Rush have rarely taken a break since their 1974 self-titled debut. True, the trio have slowed down considerably in recent years, but their early amount of work is staggering, releasing 18 studio and live albums (from ‘Rush’ to 1993’s ‘Counterparts’) in a 20-year span.
Peart isn’t just the band’s primary lyricist. He’s also an author, with six books published since 1996 that have chronicled his travels as a touring musician and motorcyclist. His most recent, ‘Far and Near: On Days Like These,’ was released in October 2014.
Terry Brown co-produced every Rush album from 1975’s ‘Fly By Night’ to 1982’s ‘Signals.’ But that fruitful partnership was ruined largely by one song, the reggae-tinged bass monster ‘Digital Man.’ The trio were aiming to push their music in new – often more commercially accessible – directions, but Brown was reluctant to leave the prog epics behind.
Though Rush is from Toronto, the band’s first true success came when DJ Donna Halper played the band’s hard-hitting ‘Working Man’ on Cleveland’s WMMS. It became a fixture on local radio, propelling Rush to a record deal (and LP re-release) with American label Mercury and high-profile opening slots for Uriah Heep and Kiss.
Rush was christened by an unlikely source: Bill Rutsey, the brother of the band’s original drummer, John Rutsey. “The band was excited, but they had a big problem,” author Bill Banasiewicz explains in his 1988 biography ‘Rush Visions.’ “While they had been dreaming of playing, they had neglected to come up with a name for their group. So a few days before the gig they sat around in John’s basement trying to come up with an appropriate moniker. They weren’t having much luck when John’s older brother Bill piped up, ‘Why don’t you call the band Rush?’, and Rush it was.”
Rush rank alongside Cream and ELP as one of rock’s greatest power trios, but they’ve recruited a number of outside studio collaborators over the years. The first of these guests was Hugh Syme, who played keyboards on several albums beginning with ‘2112.’ Syme is more famous for his visual art: he’s designed all of Rush’s album covers since 1975’s ‘Caress of Steel.’
YYZ,’ Rush’s Grammy-nominated instrumental showcase, was named after the identification code for Toronto’s Pearson International Airport. The song’s drilling intro riff is based on the visual pattern for those three letters, rendered into Morse code. It’s the most lovably nerdy moment from prog’s nerdiest band.
Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.