100 Pick Up Lines That Don’t Work

Pick ups lines don’t work, and no matter how hard we try to drill that into your head, we still get requests every week for the magic line. Below is a list of 100 of the best pick up lines I’ve come across. If they work for you, consider yourself lucky, but they can be good for a laugh or two if the situation warrants their use.

 

  1. Is that the sun coming up or is that just you lightening up my world

2. Let’s make like fabric softener and snuggle.

3.Is your last name Gillette because you’re the best a man can get.

4.Do you have a boyfriend?Are you taking applications?

5.That outfit is horrible take it off right now.

6.You see my friend over there?He wants to know if you think I’m cute.

7.Are you a Pentecostal because I want to speak in tongues with you.

8.Baby I’m like Taco Bell, I’ll spice up your night.

9.Excuse me can you step into the light over here.Why?So I can check you out.

10.Someone pass the tartar sauce because you’re quite a catch.

11.Damn Sugar slow down! I’m diabetic!

12.You’re so hot you’re making my beer warm.

13.If you were a pill I’d overdose.

14.Give the girl your hand and say, “Will you hold onto this for me while I take a walk?”

15.Are you a fisherman because you got me hooked.

16.Are you an alien because that ass is out of this world.

17.You look like my first wife.Her: “How many wives have you had?” You: None yet.

18.If looks could kill you would be a weapon of mass destruction.

19.Baby whatever you’re serving you better give me double.

20.I bet my tongue can beat up your tongue.

21.You smell, let’s go take a shower.

22.Do you drink a lot of Snapple because you look like you’re made from the best stuff on earth.

23.Are you on America’s most wanted because you’re on the top of my list.

24.I just realized this, but you look just like my next girlfriend.

25.We would go great together like peanut butter and jelly.

26.If you were an Oreo you would be double stuffed.

27.Santa must have come early this year because you were first on my list.

28.Is this the Matrix because I think you’re the One.

29.My phones feeling a little empty, how about I fill it up with your number.

30.Excuse me you dropped this.Her: “What’s that?”You: Conversation let’s pick it up over there.

31.POOF!I’m here what are your other two wishes?

32.Can I be your butter on your bread?

33.Do you have tickets?To the gun show! (Flex your arms)

34.Do you have a piece of tape?Because I’m ripped! (Flex)

35.Have you had a shower lately?You look like a dirty girl.

36.You have an onion butt.It makes me want to cry.

37.I know my calculus, you plus me equals us.

38.Do you have the time? She gives you the current time. No I meant the time to write down my number.

39.They call me Milk because I do a body good.

40.I’m like a power plant, hard to shut down and I can turn you on anytime.

41.They call me Elmo, you can tickle me anytime.

42.I must be a hunter because I just found a fox.

43.Nice you have arms, me too!We should hook up sometime.

44.Do you want a hot dog to go with those buns?

45.I’m the type of guy you can start a family with.

46.You look good enough for me to give my last name to.

47.I got skittles in my mouth, want to taste the rainbow?

48.I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

49.Want to compare tan lines?

50.Girl you’re my honey on my bunches of oats.

51.What’s that on you butt?My eyes.

52.If I had a dollar for every girl I’ve seen as hot as you, I’d have one dollar.

53.You better change the lock, because I’m the key to your heart.

54.If you were a meat market, you would be the prime rib.

55.Are you a zoo because you bring the animal out in me.

56.Hey officer give me a ticket because I’m in your restricted area.

57.Your beauty blinded me, I’m going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.

58.If you were words on a page you would be the fine print.

59.You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.

60.Are you a parking ticket?You got fine written all over you.

61.I make more money then you can spend.

62.Did you fart because you blew me away.

63.If you were a booger I would pick you first.

64.Hi I’m Mr. Right, someone said you were looking for me.

65.Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.

66.Do you have any raisins?Ok how about a date then?

67.I think I’m gay, want to prove me wrong?

68.You’re like a prize wining fish, I don’t know if I should eat your or mount you.

69.So, you want to make out?

70.I only have 12 hours to live, don’t let me die a virgin.

71.You must be part ninja because that ass is kicking.

72.Your eyes are a mystery, I’d like to be your detective.

73.Give me three good reasons why I shouldn’t buy you a drink.

74.My love for you is like diarrhea, it never ends.

75.What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk?My zipper.

76.Let me see your palm, I want to read your future.Write your phone number on her hand.There’s your future.

77.Do you raise chickens for a living, because you sure did raise my cock.

78.I’m just a pirate looking for some booty.

79.Do you want to go behind that rock over there and get a little boulder (bolder).

80.Are you a pitcher because I love the way you throw those curves.

81.They call me coffee because I grind so fine.

82.My mouth hurts, will you kiss it.

83.Want to go halves on a bastard?

84.If I was Peter Pan you would be my happy thought.

85.I really like your peaches, can I shake your tree?

86.Do you mind if I hang out here until it is safe back where I farted?

87.Do you like bacon?Wanna strip?

88.Can you do me a favor?Stay beautiful until next time I see you.

89.I’m like Motel Six, I’ll leave the light on for you.

90.Congratulations, you have been voted the hottest girl here, your prize a date with me!

91.Can I have a band aid?I hurt my knee when I fell for you.

92.I want to be your paramedic; I’m mouth to mouth certified.

93.You’re a piece of eye candy and I have a sweet tooth.

94.I’m not much of a romantic so I’ll get straight to the point, “Want to make out?”

95.You might as well sleep with me because I’m going to tell everyone we did.

96.Your mom was pretty good so I figured you would be too.

97.Are you a slot machine because I would like to take a chance.

98.Let’s fight under the covers.

99.I may not be Santa Claus but I’ll stuff your stockings.

100.I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.

 

Some of these were laugh out loud funny.

Just say hello.

Let me know if you have any to add to the list or lines you’ve used to meet someone.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

Instagram: @phicklephilly     Facebook: phicklephilly

Advertisements

Author: phicklephilly

Copyright © 2016 by Phicklephilly All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. All stories and characters are based on real people and events. The names and images have been changed to protect their privacy. Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That’s how we’re gonna be — cool. Critical is fine, but if you’re rude, we’ll delete your stuff. Please do not put your URL in the comment text and please use your PERSONAL name or initials and not your business name, as the latter comes off like spam. Have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation!”

10 thoughts on “100 Pick Up Lines That Don’t Work”

  1. Okay, those are hysterical. Here is one I swear is true, it was said to me and I’m not making this up. Small town bar(A long time ago), in a hall between the main bar/dance area to a bar area— My friend and I approach a man and his buddies he looks me straight in the eyes and says.
    “Hey you’re pretty, you remind me of my sister, do ya wanna dance?”
    That’s Word for freaking word! I ducked under his arm blocking the way and ran. Um no. Just no.

    Like

  2. Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the
    video to make your point. You obviously know
    what youre talking about, why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your
    weblog when you could be giving us something informative to read?

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s