Dating and Relationship Advice – Rape and Date Rape

I know for the most part phicklephilly has always been about romance, love and dating. It’s normally pretty light-hearted, but there is a darker side to dating that must be explored. Maybe the more we know the safer we’ll all be.

What Is Rape?

Rape occurs when sexual intercourse is non-consensual (not agreed upon), or a person forces another person to have sex against his or her will. It also can occur when the victim is intoxicated from alcohol or drugs. Rape includes intercourse in the vagina, anus, or mouth. It is a felony offense, which means it is among the most serious crimes a person can commit. Men as well as women and children can be raped.

Many times, the person who commits rape uses violence to force the person to have sex. An attacker also can use fear alone to commit rape. Rape can cause both physical and emotional harm to the victim.

What Is Date Rape?

Date rape also is when one person forces another person to have sex. It, too, is a felony offense. The difference between rape and date rape is that the victim knows the attacker socially. Perhaps he or she even went out with his or her attacker more than once.

What Should I Do if I Have Been Raped?

If you have been raped, follow these steps:
•Don’t wash or douche. You do not want to wash away any evidence that could be used against your attacker in court.
•Call the police and tell them what happened. If you are afraid to call the police, call your local rape crisis center.
•Go to an emergency room. While there, you will be examined. A doctor will make a record of your injuries and treat you. Samples of any fluid left in the vagina or anus (especially semen) will be gathered. Hair, pieces of clothing, or other objects left by the attacker also may be taken. These samples may be used to help identify and convict your attacker.

 

Was It Really Rape?

Some victims feel like rape is their fault. Although rape is never the victim’s fault, feelings of guilt can prevent the victim from getting help. Remember, rape can really hurt a person’s emotions. Even if you get over the crisis of the attack, you may develop painful feelings later. It’s important to get help for yourself as soon as possible to avoid serious emotional complications, even if you do not want to press charges against your attacker.

If you aren’t sure if what happened to you was rape, a rape crisis counselor or doctor can help you sort it out.

 

How Does Rape Harm the Victim?

Rape harms the victim both physically and emotionally.

Types of physical harm due to rape can include:
•Broken bones, bruises, cuts, and other injuries from violent acts.
•Injuries to the genitals and/or anus.
•Being exposed to diseases that can be passed on during sex, including HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, herpes, gonorrhea, and syphilis.
•Unwanted pregnancy.

Types of emotional harm include:
•Shame
•Embarrassment
•Guilt
•Feelings of worthlessness

 

You also may have problems with:
•Fear
• Depression
•Anger
•Trust
•Attraction to men (if the attacker was a man)
•Consensual sex later in life (inability to enjoy sex without intrusive recollections of the abuse)
•Flashbacks (reliving the rape in your mind)
• Nightmares
•Falling and staying asleep

 

Will I Ever Feel Well Again After Being Raped?

Rape can leave physical and emotional scars that last a long time. Some victims find that emotional scars never go away. Long-term counseling can help you to deal with guilt, fear, depression, anxiety, and other emotions. Many victims also get help by joining support groups.

How Can I Protect Myself From Rape?

Unfortunately, there’s no sure way to protect yourself from rape. Even people who take steps to protect themselves can be victims. But, following common safeguards, like these, is still a good idea:
•Be responsible for your actions. Stay in control. Don’t get drunk at a party and ask a stranger to drive you home, for example.
•Don’t walk alone at night. It takes just one trip alone to your car to be attacked. Walk with a friend.
•Don’t get talked into something you don’t want to do. Make your own choices and stick with them.
•Learn ways to defend yourself in the case of an attack.
•Trust your feelings. If a person seems threatening to you, don’t continue the friendship.
•Learn about rape and why people rape. This knowledge will make you more alert to possible attackers.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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Author: phicklephilly

Copyright © 2016 by Phicklephilly All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. All stories and characters are based on real people and events. The names and images have been changed to protect their privacy. Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That’s how we’re gonna be — cool. Critical is fine, but if you’re rude, we’ll delete your stuff. Please do not put your URL in the comment text and please use your PERSONAL name or initials and not your business name, as the latter comes off like spam. Have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation!”

7 thoughts on “Dating and Relationship Advice – Rape and Date Rape”

  1. Heavy subject….lots of studies concerning rape especially the psychological factor and physiology how the body response. Many rape victims have reported having the strongest orgasm they ever had when they were raped. That mentally mess with them….

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for this useful information. Will you also have a column about what men can do to speak up against rape, learn how to be clear about consent, and take responsibility for their actions? Many young men seem confused by the #metoo movement. They need more mature, experienced men like you to help teach them what consent is or what to do if the situation is unclear. (Lots of people blame the unreasonable expectations created by porn–that would make an interesting topic in its own right!). Too often the burden of rape “prevention” fall upon women. Men also need to own their part to help prevent it too and speak up when they see questionable behavior from other men. Thanks for considering.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for your words. I want to cover every aspect of dating and relationships here in 2018 and beyond. You have all been an inspiration to me. I will continue to bring new and informative info to the community.

      Liked by 1 person

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