Dating and Relationship Advice – Understanding Body Language When Dating Women

I oved writing this one. Huge fan of reading body language!

We have been using Body Language for thousands of years; everyone uses and reads Body Language on an unconscious level every minute of every day.

You may think that this only accounts for a tiny fraction of communication and tiny compared to words, but you would be very wrong. Body language actually accounts for a staggering 55% of all communication while your actual ‘words’ account for only a staggering 7%!

If you were to see a beautiful woman sitting alone in a bar stroking the stem of her wine glass whilst her body was pointing towards you as she was looking over, would you know what this means? Would you go over and speak with her? Should you?

Reading Body Language is difficult at the beginning, but like all things, it gets easier with knowledge, practice and experience.

One of the biggest mistakes people make when attempting to read body language is that they just look for 1 sign and act on it; but this is incorrect. You need to look for groups of signals (clusters) that all compliment and reflect each other. Just because your date is sat opposite you with her arms crossed, it does not mean that she is bored, closed, disagrees with what you are saying or does not like you! She could just be cold!

OK, now to cover the main things that you need to both look for and change about yourself to make you more appealing to women

l. Eye Contact

Good eye contact is one of the most powerful weapons you have in your arsenal.

You can literally stir powerful sexual tension or emotions in a woman just with eye contact. I know this sounds hard to believe, but non-verbal communication is one of the most powerful forms of communication. When you see a woman who you like, simply look at her with strong eye contact and body language, make it clear that you are looking at her and make sure that she knows it. From doing this, you know whether a woman is interested in at least having a brief conversation with you or not by her body language and reaction. From here, you can move further in the interaction by going over to say hello to her.

There is also a form of non-verbal communication called ‘triangular gazing’ which is when looking at a woman, you glance at her left eye, followed by her right eye, followed by her mouth (or vice versa, R,L,M.) This is a very sexual message that you are giving off and indicates both confidence and sexuality, she can’t help but feel the sexual tension, it comes from that instinctual part of our brain.

2. Body position

In order to not come across as too dominating to a woman, it is important not to approach her with completely straight/square on body language; animals do this when they are about to attack.

Also, If she is constantly turning her body to an angle, she is in effect, turning her interest away from you, take the hint and adapt and overcome. I always prefer to almost walk past a woman before talking to her, she will read from your body language that you are about to continue walking at any second and so will respond to you in a positive way.

3. Arms and legs

The arms and legs are a very powerful reading tool when it comes to body language. Have you ever noticed when someone is nervous how they constantly move their arms, hands, legs and feet as if trying to find somewhere suitable or comfortable to put them? This is fidgeting, it only happens when someone feels uncomfortable. Think about it, are you twitching and fidgeting right now while reading this? No, of course not, you’re in a relaxed and comfortable position.

What to do: Keep your arms to the side of your body in a relaxed manner or to the front of your body, hands together at 90 degree angles. When in this position, use your hands to really emphasize important points and also use for gentle, but quick touches on her arm to build rapport; just don’t overdo it.

4. Weight distribution

This is simple: when you are interested in someone, you will lean your body weight onto the front or leading foot. This is fine when talking with friends and family, but disastrous when talking with women who you like. It shows too much interest and neediness.

Instead, try to lean back and put your weight onto your back foot when she is talking. This shifts the power back into your favor and shows both confidence and also value on your behalf. You are in effect showing that you are not trying to pick up on her or putting in too much effort to win her affections.

5. Scratching and Grooming of Hair

This is where evolution comes in; scratching and grooming is a trait passed down to us through our genetic code by our prime ape ancestry, it’s pre programmed/hard-wired into our brains from birth.

The most common places where a woman will scratch herself is on the face if she finds you attractive. Scratching and grooming is more common in women than men, the tell-tale sign is when a woman is constantly playing and touching her hair for no apparent reason when she is in close proximity with you. This is also revealing in women with short hair as they still seem to touch and play with their hair for no apparent reason.

6. Holding drink with both hands

The holding of a drink, jacket or any other object in front of the body or groin area is a huge tell-tale sign of discomfort.

Both men and women tend to spend a good deal of the first date doing this until they properly open up to each other.

The item in front of you is actually a psychological block between you and the woman with whom you are speaking created as a sort of shield of protection, to protect the infamous ‘male ego.’ The sooner you correct this, the better your interactions with women will go. Next time you’re in an uncomfortable situation, particularly with a woman, notice how she will put her bag in between you and her.

7. Stroking of cylindrical objects / sliding in and out of a circular object

This is purely and simply sexual frustration in both men and women. Men: Slide their finger in and out of rings (as an example).

Women: Stroke the stem of their wine glass (as an example).

The points above cover some really basic body language which you should look to correct in yourself both during and after dates.

 

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Cherie – Chapter 11 – The Star in my Sky

Cherie has been getting over a cold. Actually it’s worse than that. I got a cold recently and I thought I gave it to her. But she says no. She claims she probably got it from one of the many kids she treats at Children’s Hospital. She’s already gone to the doctor and they put her on a steroid and antibiotics. Me, I have a really robust immune system. The last time I had a cold was in 2012. Like my father used to say: “You’re sick for two days and then you cough for two weeks. Then you’re done.”

I like this one too:

“It’s not the cough that carries you off, it’s the coffin they carry you off in.”Steven Tyler

I super cleaned my bathroom Saturday morning. It really needed it. My daughter thinks it looks great. I told her it will stay that way if we can just keep it that way. I bought all new mats and accessories so the place looks great. Next I’m going to do an overhaul on my bedroom for obvious reasons. Daughter is away on weekends now with her boyfriend. I really want to bring Cherie back to the bat cave. I need to see if the airbags in the headboard of my bed still work. (Kidding!)

Cherie arrived in Philly around 4pm. She got good parking down at 19th & South Street. Parking is always a hassle when she comes into town. I met her and we walked around the city. I think with me being sick and getting over my cold and her in the thick of it, our energy levels were way down.

At least we had our amazing Hammer into Anvil weekend which proves that we’re not only a good match romantically but sexually. (See: Last Monday’s post)

I took her to Devil’s Alley. It’s a good spot at 19th & Chestnut. She told me she likes wings and I told her they have these wings that are fantastic there. Not Buffalo, but a spicy dry rub wing. Whenever my friend from North Carolina comes to visit he always makes me take him there for those wings. I ordered a plate of them and Cherie loved them. We had a couple of sodas and that was it. It’s weird, I never drink or smoke around Cherie. I just don’t even want it. Also, I know in the past I complained about all of these women I was dating and how the wallets never came out. But Cherie is a lovely girl and a cheap date. She never wants anything fancy. She spent more on parking than I did on the wings. We’re just happy to be together.

We went back to her car and fed the meter. Then we headed up to the tanning salon to chill. I told Trish we were going to hang in the space next door. That’s the space where Achilles and I were going to open the spin bike gym. But the owner approved it then sold the building. So it’s still empty. Our collective illness was dragging us down. I ended up just lying on the sofa with Cherie on top of me. She was literally dozing off. I felt bad for her. After and hour or so we left and went back to her car.

We drove out to 23rd and Cherry Street and parked. We cuddled a bit and then she laid her head in my lap and continued to doze off. I was worried about her driving home so I told her we should wrap it up.

Between being sick and working as hard as she does I don’t know how she stays awake half the time. But she’s a strong woman and is making her way. A medical assistant at CHOP and working in a pediatrician’s office AND being a neuroscience major at Temple? That’s a lot. But at least I’m not dating failed actresses who have no idea where their going anymore. Maybe I’m finally growing up myself.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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