This one happened quite a few years ago…
A friend worked as a sort of concierge in a big block of apartments and he’d become acquainted with a young woman who lived there. He said she’d be ideal for me to get to know, so he introduced us. She was pretty and friendly, and I liked her, and I asked if she wanted to go out for a drink or something sometime. She said okay, and gave me her number.
Anyway, for some reason this ended up being a Sunday afternoon date. I don’t know why, there’s very little to do in Philly on a Sunday afternoon (in first date terms anyway) and it wasn’t really what I’d had in mind, but I went along with it. I picked her up, and she looked really nice, had obviously made an effort, and at first it was all great. Strawberry blonde, and blue eyes. Legs. Lovely. Twenty year old Nicole Kidman, hot. I mean…too young but I love youthful women.
We chatted about this and that as we were walking. At one point she made some feeble joke about some houses we were passing, and started laughing a little too loudly about it. I just put it down to nerves – I was a bit nervous too, because I really didn’t want to blow it.
We found a pub that was open and went in for a drink. I’ve never been a very heavy drinker and I was driving, (bold faced-lie) so I just had one beer. She had a beer as well, but knocked it back in about a third of the time it took me. Then she got herself another. And another. She seemed to be holding it pretty well, but I was a bit alarmed at the quantity she was putting away, and the overly loud, slightly hysterical laughter had returned. She very rapidly went from the slightly tipsy, flirty phase, through bold, to full on drunk in the space of about thirty minutes. And she was still drinking. It really loosened her tongue.
She told me that she was trying to recover from some sort of mental breakdown which was the result of having been in a dominant sexually kinky relationship with her ex-boyfriend. Well that changed the whole tone of the day as you can imagine. I gathered this had taken place about a year ago. She got more and more morose and angry recalling what had happened to her, and started crying and raving. I was totally out of my depth and didn’t know what to do. I was obviously very sympathetic, but at the same time she became increasingly unhinged and I wondered how the hell this was going to end. She started having a go at me, because I was male, and ‘all men are the same’, etc.
The pub closed at 3pm and so we went out into the street. She looked around wildly and spotted a package store. She marched right in there and came out with a 4-pack of ‘Special Brew’ – a very strong, cheap lager. She proceeded to rip into those. I had to take charge. I half-dragged, half-pushed her back to the car and made her get in. I couldn’t get the can off her, but I did manage to lose the remainder of the pack. By this time she was so drunk, she was actually a lot more pliable and losing the aggression; almost passing out.
Thankfully I managed to get her in the car and belted in before she became a total dead weight. I drove her straight back home – it was an interminably long trip – but through most of it she was asleep, or comatose. Just as we got to her place she woke up in a daze and vomited copiously all over the inside of my car.
I managed to get her to her feet, and again dragged her in a very unsteady walk into the lobby of the apartment building I hoped my friend would be on duty but it wasn’t him, it was someone else he did shifts with. I didn’t know him, but luckily he knew the girl. I told him the gist of it, and he helped me get her into the elevator and up to her apartment. We managed to get her to find her keys and open up, then we basically dumped her on her bed. I ran around looking for all the booze I could find – I think I found a bit but less than I was expecting, and we left her alone.
I felt very sorry for her, but needless to say I didn’t call her for a second date.
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