Michelle – 2007 to Present – Chapter 15 – Everyone’s Waiting

“You can’t take a picture because it’s already gone.”

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I have always struggled with this series. I really have. Beyond trying to remember all of the crazy things we did, I’ve always been wondering what it meant to both if us.  What if we stayed together? You have to be careful with that. What do you do with it? What do you put in the story? What do you leave out? My family loves her. Have I made a mistake?

I remember saying to  co-worker, ” “If I ever got Michelle as a girlfriend, I  would knock her up and marry her tomorrow.  That’s nuts. That’s how crazy I used to be back then.

I have been writing this for six months. I started this series last year, Halloween 2016. Where do I go with a story this epic?

I have left out all of the fights and anguish and drama in our journey.

Maybe it’ll be in the book, but that shit is boring. Michelle rocks and I want to tell this story in her honor. (Sue me later Michelle!)

I know there are all of the times that belong only to us that are personal and human. To anyone that doesn’t know us… it would be embarrassing. So they will never be included in anything about us!

We were always beyond social media.

Our life together was elegant and beautiful. I was amazed that I was with Michelle and we got away with all of the things we did.

But not really.

You can’t take a picture if its already gone…

We had a power together that the rich and powerful longed for but could never attain with their money and wealth. We could glide among them with ease. They accepted us as their own but we never belonged to them.

We always belonged to each other exclusively.

We enjoyed playing in their park. and walking among them but never wanted to join them.

We decided on each other and we were in love.

That was always enough.

It had been a few years since Michelle and I were a together. We met in 2007, became a couple, and moved in together in 2008. She moved out in 2010, and we remained friends after that.

Now it was 2013.

We just hung out every other weekend, and may have unintentionally cock blocked each other from getting involved with other people because of that very fact. I know Michelle had gone on some dates, but they never materialized into anything. She never really talked about them anyway.

Me either.

One day we were out somewhere. Maybe, we were sitting outside at Fado. Looking at Nicholas Cage funny videos, But I could be wrong.

Well, we were having a drink somewhere.

Michelle tells me she has reconnected with Delaware Dave. (See: Michelle – Chapter 2 – Getting to Know You)

At first I was absolutely shocked. But I did think back to the days when Michelle would be drunk and angry at me and she’d go back to the bedroom in our apartment and call him.

Hmm…

She dumped me, but kept me around and kept in touch in with Dave as well. The whole, “I want to get married and have kids” thing wasn’t happening in our fair city, so she decided to roll the dice on something else. Something familiar. Something safe. I am assuming he wanted the same but it never happened for him either.

But Delaware Dave didn’t live in Delaware anymore. He had moved to San Francisco a few years ago. He was in management at a major home improvement company out there. (Should I start calling him, San Francisco Dave?)

I told her that sort of thing never works, not even on TV, but truth is stranger than fiction, and love is the most powerful thing in the universe.

She said, “He has grown into the man I always wanted him to be.”

I suppose the guy went out there, got a real job, quit smoking dope and grew up. I admire that.

But….

Love him for who he is, not for what you think he can become.

Just sayin’…

So she decides she’s going to quit her job at the non-profit, get rid of all of her furniture, get rid of her apartment, and move out to San Francisco and move in with him.

Yea, I know. Crazy right?

But I’m rooting for those crazy kids.

Before she moved out there, I think they would speak on the phone quite often. I don’t know if it was every night, because I didn’t see her everyday. One night we were hanging out having drinks, and she had to go home and make her routine call to Dave. I walked her to her stoop and said goodnight. She asked if I was going right home, and I told her I was going to stop at the liquor store and pick up a bottle of vodka. (So what else is new?)

She asked if I’d pick up a bottle of wine for her.

By the time I returned from the store she was done with her call. I texted her that I was outside and she came down to pick up her wine. I handed the bag to her.

“Wanna come up?”

When you drink alcohol, the first thing that leaves you is your sense of time. The second is your ability to make sound decisions. I guess I was at that point.

I went upstairs to her apartment and spent the night with her. They weren’t engaged yet, so technically she wasn’t cheating on Dave with me, but she kinda was.

The next morning she felt really guilty about what she had done. She got herself together. I was just going to go my office, but she insisted I ride with her in the cab up to her work. So we hopped in a taxi and took the long ride up to her job. I got out when we arrived and told her not to worry.

Just pretend it didn’t happen.

We slipped, and nothing happened. Obviously something had happened, but I just told her to keep telling herself that nothing happened. I knew it would be a rough day for her. She went into her building and I decided to make the long walk back to center city. It was a nice day and the exercise and sunshine would help to clear my head. (Walk of shame)

On my way home, I passed a Starbucks in Old City and I saw my friend Dina (See: Dina – 2011 to Present – Lil’ Jap) sipping coffee inside and working on her lap top. I went inside to say hello. She hits me with this chipper greeting:

“You look like shit.”

God I love her. Dina always has a nice way of being frank with me. She is my most beloved Jewish friend and confidant. Read on, and you’ll find out how she comes my financial advisor.  I told her what had happened. She giggled and seemed to enjoy the drama.

“So you’re on a ‘three-mile walk of shame’ back to the city?”

“Yea, pretty much.”

“Good luck with that.”

I fucking love, Dina.

I checked in with Michelle later and she was struggling, but I knew she’d be okay. It’s hard to leave your whole life, and move to another city to commit to someone for the rest of your life. You hope you’ve made the right decision.

We continued to hang out when all possible. But time was ticking away and the fateful day was soon to arrive. I remember we were supposed to have one final lunch before she left, but one of our investors had called a meeting and I couldn’t get out of it.

So that was it.

She was gone.

She got rid of all of her furniture, moved out of her apartment, and quit her job. She then got on a plane with what I’m guessing was her jewelry and wardrobe. It was a bold move, I’ll give her that.

Delaware Dave had finally won back his girl in the final reel.

Even if I end up as a footnote in Michelle’s life, I know I have helped and maybe even saved, or at least helped repair one person in this world. I want no credit for any of that. But if you can be something special to someone in this world and really help them to grow, then you have done something good while you are here on this speck of dust we call Earth.

I see you every day in the city, Michelle.  

But the longer I’m here you haunt me less and become a friendly spectre of what was once a magical time.

I’m just passing a tall beautiful blonde girl who isn’t you that I somehow wish was still you.

I am honored to have been chosen out all of the men in the world to love and sleep next to you Michelle, even if our time was fleeting.

The world is a better place with you in it.

And so am I, because of you.

Thank you for giving me life, romance, love and everything wonderful in my life, Michelle.

You gave me a beautiful life here in Philadelphia, Michelle. I came here from New York broken, and I was fixed by you. I know you think it’s the other way around but you saved me too, dear.

Better than I could ever imagined.

 

I continue on here in this city without you.

I miss you.

The city is not the same without you.

 

But I’ll never be without you, Michelle. I have my memories, and this tome now.

 

But I embrace my time with you.

 

And so life unfolds….

 

And off we go, my then greatest love.

 

Goodbye.

 

She always said: “I have so much fun with you, that when the day is over, I wish we could do it all again.”

 

” You can’t take a picture because it’s already gone. “

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday at 9am EST.

Author: phicklephilly

Copyright © 2016 by Phicklephilly All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. All stories and characters are based on real people and events. The names and images have been changed to protect their privacy. Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That’s how we’re gonna be — cool. Critical is fine, but if you’re rude, we’ll delete your stuff. Please do not put your URL in the comment text and please use your PERSONAL name or initials and not your business name, as the latter comes off like spam. Have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation!”

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