I’m in love! We’re getting married!
Shit… No we’re not.
I just re-edited this chapter the night before this posted to the blog. I wrote some things before that sort of put middle aged women down. That was insensitive of me. There’s nothing wrong with middle aged women. I like all women. I think I was just a little sore from paying for everything and never really feeling much for Valerie. That’s not her fault. It would have been nice if she at least offered once. But that’s not why I’m probably not going to see her again. I just didn’t feel anything special when I was with her. No chemistry.
The last time I went out with Valerie was back on October 1st. We went to breakfast, and then walked the Midtown Fall Festival for a bit. She had to go to one of her son’s football games.
I was fine with all of that, because I had already set it up the night before to meet up with June (Midtown Fall Festival Too!) at 3pm. This way I could go to the street festival and drink my face off and have fun. Which I did. June was fun to hang with.
Valerie and I had initially chatted on Tinder. She “Super Liked” me. She seemed nice, and not crazy. She was also age appropriate. That is something I had been trying to do for a while. Try for the first time in my life to date women my age. My last girlfriend was 27. The one before that was 27. The one before that was 32. The one before that was 22. The one before that was 28.
You can see there is a pattern here. I don’t try to date younger women. It just happens that way. I don’t think I’ve ever dated a woman in her 40’s let alone her 50’s. So I figured dating younger women hasn’t worked for several reasons. They don’t know what they want, who they are, or where they’re going. They may want to get married and have kids. I’m not doing that. Been there. Done that. No thank you. If we have a big age difference, we are in two completely different places, mentally, socially, and life experience. We probably don’t have anything in common. We probably don’t share the same interests or friends. She won’t know any culture references I make. Do see the pattern here? The only thing we may have in common is our mutual attraction. Maybe she has daddy issues, as many of them do. Not my fault, but I’ll do what I can. We’re just in two totally different places in our lives. But… even better than pulling up in an exotic sports car, nothing looks cooler for an older gentleman than showing up at an event with a lovely young woman on his arm.
But that hasn’t worked for me in the past either. They don’t stick around.
I’m just not feeling the rush of love for Val. We’ve been on four dates. First one was drinks. Second one was a movie. Third was light dinner and drinks at El Rey, and four was breakfast and street festival. You know what? This lady is a bore. She talks too much about a bunch of shit I don’t care about. I don’t want to hear about her alcoholic ex-husband who is probably going to die soon. I don’t want to hear the whole detailed story about how she got her current job. I tried to date this woman. I didn’t feel anything. I kept using words like, nice, smart, stable, CFO, and good parent to describe her. Fuck that shit. I want a woman who lights me up when I’m around her. And damn it, I’m going to find one. It’s not like I’m on a quest. But I’m just going to continue being me, and living my life, and seeing what’s out there. But I’m not going to settle for grinding mediocrity, just because a woman is the same age as me.
The last time I heard from Valerie was the afternoon of October 1st after our breakfast/festival date. Even after it we said we would try to do better with the communication thing! I’m not interested enough in her after four dates to even give a shit. And the great thing is, apparently neither is she. I haven’t heard from her, since her last text, which said she had a lovely afternoon with me. Who knows? Maybe she met someone who is her age and is into her. Because clearly I’ve tried, and I am just not. So we’re even. She got some free meals and drinks and a movie out of it.
So I tried. But I’m done with Valerie.
But some time has passed and I ran an idea by my neighbor Trish. Valerie loves films. So do I. What if I have the occasional free Saturday and just go see some great film with her and then talk about it after over a drink? That would be cool right? We could just be film buddies. Trish said she probably doesn’t want that and it’s not a match and I should just forget about it and move on. Trish is crazy but in this instance, she’s probably right. So rather than circle back, I will move forward on my quest for true love.
But I will close with this. If I found the right lady that understood me and I felt real passion for, I wouldn’t care what her age was. I just would like a solid connection, even if she’s older than I am. Maybe I would be her sugar baby. It could happen, right?
Be careful what you wish for…
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I publish new Dating content every Monday at 9am EST. I publish Updates and bios and stories about Non-Dating related characters, such as male and female friends, on Wednesdays at 9am EST.